Sunday, August 22, 2010

Lifes Little Ironies

Well it's been a while since I've been here, to actually write. The other times I've been on BS were to read the great HayleyGHoover's blog and Kristina Horner's.

On that note I suppose it's time to update everyone on dating sabotical,2. my life in general and 3. a little explaination of today's title. This may get a little Alanis Morrisette-ish. You've been warned.

For starters I was "let go" from my new "fabulous" job Friday morning, which sucked because the money was nice and the people were great too and I have no harsh feelings to anyone that works there because I gave it my all and it just was not the right fit for me, so it's okay. So to "celebrate" I went to a tattoo shop and dared myself to make an idea that's been in my head for 10+ years come to fruition and I did it! The irony of this situation is that I was fired and the "Learn to Fly" in the tattoo pertains to both the dearly departed on the scroll and myself.

**Also another irony is that one of the names on my tattoo is my dads and my best friends moms name is Tommie and my dads name is Tom and I feel the same amount of love from Tommie as my dad gave me.

Second, a majority of my weekends have been spent solo since my best friend has started hanging out with a guy friend of hers. I do have other friends but they too are out living their own lives and/or are several states away and lets face it my car will NOT make it that far. But the few that lives states away are always on call for me to whine and complain to when and if I need it,which is a lot lately. I love them so much for it too. But while my friends are out and about having fun I tend to stick to the house on the internet doing absolutely nothing constructive or going to movies alone watching other people. I'm not complaining...entirely but yes to be invited to something with anyone but myself would be fun! That brings me to my update of my dating sabotical.

Well for starters as soon as I started it I was asked to hang out with a guy and for some reason I said yes, even though it was kind of breaking the rules right from the get go. BUT I did tell him that I'm not for anything right now and that I just wanted to be friends....I thought he understood that just fine until he tried to kiss me while dropping me off at my car...and the second time we hung out guess what?!? He tried it again!
So last night I went to see The Switch,which was a really cute movie by myself....I didn't feel so bad when I saw that I wasn't the only person there solo. I was just the only one under 30. After getting home from the movie and unloading groceries I got online to talk to my best friend that lives in California and we covered our usual conversation topics:loneliness,being unemployed and how much it sucks,depression and our coping mechanisms, what's new in your neck of the woods? and what not. Sometime during that exhilarating conversation I just started to break down and fall apart like the cool smoothness of a mirror that has been shot at one to many times. I honestly could have really used a hug and some human connection at that time that wasn't spanned across the United States. Because I was the only one home besides the dogs and while they are great for listening and showing affection they would not suffice for what I have been craving for quite some time now. But like the "courageous" person that I am I picked myself up and brushed off the dirt and went on with my night.

So yes that folks is my update for the time being...I shall return soon for another update and it will be more cheerful then this one.


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