Tonight was my first actual (I guess I could say that, there hasn't been confirmation) date in about six months. We met at a pool hall/restaurant and bar and attempted to play a game of pool but due to my crappy skills at the game he ended up playing the game by himself and we just chatted as he ended the game. The night continued on and it appeared that a connection was developing quite well, and as I more or less gave him my whole life story I began to realize something; I do this to every guy I meet, I tell them my whole life story as a sort of test to see whether or not they will bolt after that day/night or if they want to stick around someone as insanely complex as myself.
As I thought more about my revelation on the drive home it also made me realize that back in my teenage days I actually stayed with boyfriends for at least roughly 10-11 months. I didn't have to tell them my whole life story because my whole life story wasn't as bizarre and twisted as it has been up to this point. Sure I enjoy my independence but I'm only human and well I think The Smith's said it best..
During my night out my room mate text me to ask if I was coming home tonight. I don't know if she was assuming something or what but as far as I can gather so far because of the fact that I am not in a relationship with anyone right now and that I go on an occasional date now and then and meet new people that I am the equivalant of a Satist in their (my friend's boyfriend's and hers) eye's. I don't know nor do I care at this point because even though my life is not all fancy and all that jazz like their's has been for the past 5/6 months I don't care because I'm happy that I get to keep my options open. Now this is not a feminist crusade or anything I am just happy where I am right now in my life, and that I don't need a man to make me whole. Sure they help but when a great one comes a long then I'll be ready for him to come into my chaotic life 'til then I'm going to live it up.
Now that that is out of my system and I have stood on my soap box I'm going to finish my movie and eat my cake.
What are your feelings on being an independent person and dating freely vs. being in a committed relationship?
My opinion on relationships........ when I stopped wearing my heart on my sleeve and was content in my life things fall into place. When you need someone the most god does wonders
ReplyDeleteI totally agree, before I was diagnosed last year I met this amazing guy and he stood by my side for as long as he could bear and then shortly before I got better I met another guy that I thought was amazing in his own right and helped me through a lot and accepted me despite my flaws.
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