In my last post I said something along the lines of "During my night out my room mate text me to ask if I was coming home tonight. I don't know if she was assuming something or what but as far as I can gather so far because of the fact that I am not in a relationship with anyone right now and that I go on an occasional date now and then and meet new people that I am the equivalant of a Satist in their (my friend's boyfriend's and hers) eye's. I don't know nor do I care at this point because even though my life is not all fancy and all that jazz like their's has been for the past 5/6 months I don't care because I'm happy that I get to keep my options open." . Which got me thinking about the movie Easy A. Which I can relate to really well except for the fact that I haven't had any imaginary flings (let alone any real ones) with any guys lately BUT I do have a Marianne in my life who tends to be a little judgmental at times as to the way I live my "oh so scandalous life"
Sure my life is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but is any one's really? I don't know how a series of roughly two dates or date equivalence in my head have managed to make my roommate and probably her family think that I'm some (any of the words above) that let's a guy take advantage of me and that I have some major issues since losing my dad this year but I don't. I really don't, if anything I am just lonely and want some sort of companionship every now and then and since my friend is hardly ever home to hang out or do anything with nowadays I have to go to other friend's houses and hang out with them or I opt to stay longer at work to absorb that little bit of human connection. When I'm not at home I get my human connection through Twitter and Youtube because a lot of my friends from any of my school years or any just recently found friends live too far away for me to meet them or even hang out with them.
Also, the other morning out of boredom and because there was nothing else on TV I watched PBS and they were showing a program called "The Science of Happiness" and apparently being lonely is as bad for your health as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day,who knew?
Question time! How do you deal with your loneliness or if your not lonely but dating how do you deal with it when your friend(s) think that your becoming "out of control" even though you haven't done anything with anyone, or you have but it's been PG unless ya know you have been together for a while.
Please help, any sort of advice will help me greatly right now!
XOXO
First, you're dead-on that it's YOUR LIFE. Don't be worried about what your roommate thinks of you. And two dates doesn't qualify as being slutty in the least, especially considering the fact that I doubt very seriously you're the type to have sex on a first date.
ReplyDeleteOn loneliness: Well first, quit feeling sorry for yourself. The truth is, the only person you will be able to rely on to be there for you 100% of the time, no matter what, is yourself. So subsequently, YOU are the person who needs to make you happy. And no one else.
I too am lonely. I'm stuck in a small town, with nothing to do and very few people I even remotely care for. I haven't gotten laid in over 6 months because there's very few girls in my area that I consider attractive, and even fewer that have any interest in me. Any girl I'd like a relationship with lives miles away, so my love life is at an all-time low. And I'm a romantic by nature who thrives on loving women.
As far as friends, I have ONE good friend nearby, and I get to hang out with him once a week or less. Other than that, I resort to facebook to keep in touch with other good friends who are all too far from me... and keep the part of me alive that yearns for human interaction. I have very little in common with co-workers, and many other people around me, and my parents (who I live with) have grown tired of having children and we have virtually no relationship anymore. It's distant and tense at best.
This place I live has nothing to offer me. I hate everything about it. But you know what? I've never once given up. I MAKE my happiness. And I MAKE reasons to keep going... and when the shit gets too hard to take, I smoke a shit-ton of marijuana to keep my head on straight and get right back to keeping on.
Because whatever it is that troubles me, It can never be too overwhelming simply because I am still breathing. And as long as I have a single breath in me, I'm going to KEEP PUSHING for what I want.
Solitude is merely an opportunity to find and invest in what's important to you... why do you think men like Nelson Mandela and Adolf Hitler developed their plans in prison?
Don't give up on having a social life, or relationships. But keep your head up, and when it hurts to be lacking in either, use that as a sign to work on your own life and focus on yourself.
- Trevor
Who can judge you for your choices if you are comfortable with them? Dating is hard out there right now, trust me, I know! But I refuse to give up. I'm lucky in the sense that a lot of my girlfriends are also single, so we get to gab about men and dating together. Maybe you can find a group of single women in your area or online to chat with? It helps to be around people you can relate to!
ReplyDeleteAs far as loneliness, I think we can feel that way whether we are alone or with people. Sometimes the most lonely I've ever felt is in a crowded room. So personally, I think it's something you have to deal with within yourself. You can try to surround yourself with people, but really what you need is to be your own best friend. I live alone and find that loneliness creeping in often, and when it does I write, dance, take a walk, give myself a manicure/pedicure, pretty much anything to be my own best friend. Only once you've begun to deal with your loneliness on your own can seeking others for comfort really help. If you ever want to chat or need some single female advice, email me at meganmurphy13 {at} gmail {dot} com.
Keep your chin up!
--Maggie
Well I mean I don't think sex on the firstt date is scandalous at all so just make her think whatever she wants the only person judgement that matters in the end s God's. And loneliness can be fixed by joining clubs.... bookclub sporting activity volunteer at your local homeless shelter etc. Hope It helps :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, and just to get it out there I'm definitely NOT a sex on the first date kind of girl...just saying
ReplyDeleteI don't think there's anything wrong with the way you're living your life :) I wouldn't mind my life being like Easy A lol
ReplyDeleteand p.s. never knew that about being lonely!