"It's peanut butter jelly time!"

I find it kind of sad how much we as Americans take for granted on a daily basis. The smallest of things that we used to adore and cherish as children are now swept away by the rushing foamy tides of adulthood. For example, a simple sandwich like the Peanut Butter and Jelly, two pieces of bread with the two most delicious and vastly underrated ingredients in the world! Okay, maybe not in the world but for me their kind of up there.

The other night I was in the boyfriend's dorm and we got up for a midnight snack, and since we're poor(ish) college kids a snack is all that we could manage so we whipped up some PB & J's and ate. In that moment I kind of had a flashback/aha moment of my childhood and how much I used to love the sandwiches and now I  hardly ever eat them! While I was eating the delicious "snack" I felt like I was nine years old again swinging my feet from the stool and just taking everything in.  It had to be one of the best moments that I've had in awhile (and I've had a lot in the past month) and it was just really nice and everyone should have that experience on a regular basis. Because in the end it really is the little things in your life that should matter the most to you. 

xoxo 

My first two weeks of college in pictures..

I haven't gone completely MIA from the blogging world..I've been busy with school and being generally pleased as fucking punch lately and I've been trying to keep the momentum going. So in lieu of blabbering about my first two weeks of college I've decided to just do the next best thing and photo blog the experience so far. Enjoy!

 football baby!

 new friends <3

 a stud of a boyfriend. 

 my first double dating experience

 random people at a bar with some stellar dance moves

 White boys can't dance :p

 we aren't normal people, we dance in our chairs

xoxo

Yummy

Yes! 

Until I can find the words and time to actually write a decent post this is what you guys get. The song that has been on a loop in my head for about a week. 

Enjoy! 

xoxo

Breaking News

I don't have a lot of time to write this because I actually used my time semi productively at the library today because our wifi is out again. Surprised? Neither am I. But I went to the mailbox the other day and that letter that I have been agonizing and stressing out like crazy over for the past month or so came and while I shook like a leaf in a hurricane upon it's arrival I gathered my courage, opened it and well...they said yes! My appeal went through, though I have to do a few provisionary things but I'm still in and going and will finally get to meet my roommate and have everything else that I've been talking about in past posts happen!

My elation cannot even be put into words let alone one emotional blog post.

Now I have 6 days to do what most people have had done for the past month or so...no pressure because I have an adrenaline rush that will last me til Christmas!

xoxo

Who needs drugs when voices like these are in the world??

I know I sure don't, I almost had a glass of wine tonight to relieve me from my stressful day, I just popped in HappyThankyouMorePlease and then youtube'd the music.

The internet is a wonderful thing.

HappyThankYouMorePlease

do yourself a favor and see this, please?

48 Days, but who's counting? Oh, that's right, me.

So I know that it's only just July but I'm partially crazy so this post is for my own benefit, sorry. Starting today I have 48 days to get all of my school stuff done and over with so that I can be ready for the fall. That includes getting books, school supplies, and dorm essentials, ya know the usual stuff freshman need. The fact that I'm broke enough already and have to pay August's rent when I thought I didn't doesn't help much either. The fact that I keep acting like a child that is actually ready for their first day at school is killing my brothers, but I can't help it that I'm oozing with excitement for my future.

I also get to finish getting my dental stuff done, which I hope is soon because other than the three more small things that I have to do besides getting out my wisdom teeth I'm ready to not see the dentist for another 6 more months. Did you know that there's dental sand paper? I didn't.

I also get the always fun time of saving up enough money in between this time to get my car fixed before I leave for school and actually have some until I get a job up there, and hopefully I can get one on campus at Orientation in two weeks.

In these last 48 days I'm also going to try and get in better graces with my mom and brothers, and try to go see my other little brother and family that live downtown. I've been a little distant with the latter and I really want to change that and let them know that I love them and care for them and that I'm not as selfish as I may seem. I'm just busy and suck at getting down there when I plan to.

I hope every one has a great fourth of July weekend! I know I will, I'll be indulging in cupcakes and trying my first bottle of wine and enjoying the house all to myself before reality throws itself at me like a wicked curve ball.

xoxo

P.S I'm reading a new book called The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake and so far it's so good. Would you guys like me to keep reviewing books? I've done two so just let me know.

Sharing is caring..(part 2)

I had to do another June installment of some of my favorite bloggers because you guys are just to damn cool.

Here we go!

The Lexical Gap aka Overlord Alexandra-I've been reading Lex's blog for awhile and let me be the first to tell you the girl is amazing, plus she has plans for world domination (the rules are in the link). Her rules are pretty easy to adhere to and I would happily be a mini

Too Much Pressure- Oh Andrew, there are not enough words to describe him, all nice of course but still not enough words. He's a grad student that is like the rest of us 20 somethings and is just chronicling the ridiculous and mundane going on's of his life. He too is a Twitter friend and since I'm a shameless promoter I'm going to go ahead and say that if your not following him you're missing out.

seedling - she's a newly discovered blog for me but I adore her already.

Trend-ish- also a new-ish blog that I have recently discovered but this blog puts a little bit more beauty in a messy world.

Unedited- Ironically her latest post is about promoting blogs so I'd say my timing was awesome!
and last but definitely not least is....

The Wonderful World of Victoria- some of you may or may not have heard of her but I've also been reading Victoria for quite some time so I think she is due some heavy doses of blog loving.

So that's it for tonight. I hope every one enjoys!

xoxo

A change is gonna come. After my brain becomes less gelatanous.

I think it's high time for a change. I'm already looking forward to the crazy but great changes that will be happening in my life in less than two months time but right now I think that I need something a little more immediate.
I'm thinking about maybe dyeing my hair and seeing how well I like it for a month or two, my hair has been growing a lot since the last time I really gave it any thought. Every time I see one of my best friends she always comments on how much my hair has grown since the last time I saw her, even my boss remarks on it sometimes. Though the last time he told me I looked like " a Beatles fan", not really sure what he was getting at but whatever. Androgony doesn't suit me.
After all of the "heartbreak" that I have put myself through these past months and the stagnant air of my mundane daily routines I think a little change is needed. Even if it may go straight to my head.

Once again this post isn't going where I want it to or hoped it would, I truly am a scatterbrain.

Later days guys

xoxo

I'm a master procrastinator and socially inept..

I have been blessed with a mere hour and a half before work to get everything requiring my laptop (with wifi) done and so far I'm making good time. I've pre-registered for class registration at school (way to be redundant school) and am now procrastinating on pulling up a new window to start browsing and possibly ordering a new laptop for my birthday/school.

I would have written more earlier but the pictures I want to put on a post are on my computer not my mom's and   being forced to use a desktop as opposed to a laptop that practically has my LIFE on it is weird. Suffice to say it has been a long week, school prep, my birthday, work, trying to have a social life and being in a relationship that I wasn't aware of being in. Here's a good story for ya, everyone ready for this??

A few weeks ago an old friend of mine from high school sent me a message on Facebook more or less out of the blue blatantly asking me if I was seeing anyone, and since I'm not and wasn't planning to  for a while I decided to hang out with the kid. I mean what's the worst that could happen? We're just two friends from high school catching up and hanging out...right...I was wrong apparently because two people of the opposite sex can NOT be friends!! Oh no, once you throw in emotions and sometimes hormones shit gets all sorts of out of hand. I thought that he and I were just friends just hanging out and catching up-the equivalant of a mini high school reunion. Extreme awkwardness in some situations included. Sure when he told me he liked me I returned the mutual feelings and told him I liked him too, but apparently my interpretation of his like for me was WAYYY off! We went out to Dave and Buster's for my birthday and scored a ridiculous amounts of tickets/random pieces of paper (his idea, not mine) and managed to split the winnings between ourselves equally which was cool. Then I made a mistake of inviting him over to watch a movie, I picked 500 Days of Summer because I thought it was a seemingly safe movie. not quite a chick flick and not boring.. boy was I wrong! Right before he left he asked me if we were a couple or not...and as life always tends to it imitated art.  I just replied as nonchalantly as I could and told him that I didn't want a relationship, at least not now and called it a night.

Apparently those words are like kryptonite to guys, especially those in the "friends zone" because a good 75% of the texts that he sent to me and to my best friend about me the day after my birthday were brimming with douchiness and made this once nice guy turn into an "arrogant prick". His words not mine, though they do ring true,  but ya know I had to do what I had to do. Forced attraction is not something I'm into especially when I thought that an unspoken understanding was in place. The next day I woke up feeling as though I had a hole in my chest the size of my lung...turns out it was just because I had accidentally hurt the poor guy the night before without really realizing it. I know I'm a stupid heartless bitch for it or whatever but in my defense I'm kind of romantically inept I only interact with guys that I work with/ are customers and the friends of mine at work that are guys understand how utterly complicated and fucked up I really am even if I don't show it too much. Because that's just how misfits are.

So maybe one day when I can figure out what I want and have my shit in order will I will a guy past the iron walls that I have built around my heart, til then I think it's just time to focus on the future and school and whatever else may come up during that time. I just need a little push off the edge for me to jump into anything with a guy, my fear is paralyzing...

P.S I got a shot glass and a stuffed Smurfette (hehe) for my birthday and a new laptop that I just ordered.

Have a good day all!

xoxo

Level 21: completed!

Today I had a routine oncologist appointment and other than waiting on a blood test that pretty much covers it all and not knowing  those results yet I'm healthy!

After all that I have been through over these past 21-now 22 years I think that today is cause for some major celebration, a birthday, a clean bill of health, a new laptop later on this week and a bright future in store. To say that my life has been crazy (for lack of a better word) is an understatement.

• born with a heart defect, that I almost didn't survive after birth.
• 5 open heart surgeries up until the age of 14.
• a stroke
• and about a year ago, cancer which I beat!

I know that there are other people in this world that have stories much worse than mine and that have their lives a lot worse than mine. I keep them in my prayers always I also realize how narcissitic this post may sound, but I'm really trying to not make it be. But a year ago I wasn't sure if I would even make it to 21 let alone 22 so this is a celebatory post of sorts. So this post was necessary and so was this. I don't think that this post went as I had planned in my head last night but that's what I get for not having my laptop yet and not having any wifi.

Hope everyone is having a great day! Those promised posts will be up soon.

xoxo

Music: the great communicator

I believe that if you think positively and act positively then the universe will bring you great things, that isn't too crazy right? I also believe that if you surround yourself with positive people and all together positive energy then things will happen for you. So I'm doing just that. I'm using music and even telling strangers my plans because sometimes strangers will leave a piece of themselves behind and will add to the burning optimism that I have in my heart. Though this month is going to be a  long and emotional month I'm going to keep myself optimistic and cheerful through everything.

I've compiled a playlist of some songs that have been keeping my spirits high and my worries low. Enjoy!

By the way the playlist is bottom left if you  haven't noticed yet. It's about as different and eclectic as me!

40 Days and 40 Nights of NO Facebook

        



I did what most can't in this day and age, at least no one that I know on a personal level can. Well I have one friend that is hardly on it anyways,but I digress.  I gave up one of world's biggest time sucks for Lent-Facebook. I actually think that I have become a little better of a person because of the hiatus, even as I write this I'm not even on it. I got back on for about 4 minutes and I don't have much of a desire to get back on it, at least right now. The addiction may slowly kick back in but for now I'm going to enjoy the release of the death grip that it holds on people.

During my absence on Facebook I have managed to;

-improve my blogging, little by little, hello new and old followers! You guys are the coolest :)

-I have avoided any and ALL of the drama and Facebook that may have been going on in my social circles, a drama free life is a good life in my opinion.

-I have also finished a book that I have been trying to finish for awhile, work and life got in the way. It was great and something that I kind of needed. I also bought myself two books for Easter- Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin (chick lit is a guilty pleasure of mine) and The Help by Kathryn Stockett which is also being made into a movie like SB and Emma Stone is going to be in it!

-My dating life has also been um, active? Though I don't think that taking myself out to eat and seeing movies really counts and going on ONE actual date with a guy counts as having a dating life. But it's whatever.

-I have started the college application process and things are going slightly well, except like the getting in part. Which I'm working on and praying that the process goes smoother than it started.

So the nerves they are a fraying. But everything will be okay, I usually get what I want if I put my mind to it and want it badly enough and this is something that I want BAD!

So I want to know, what did you give up for Lent if anything? How did it go?

xoxo

A little cooperation please!?

So I'm at Starbucks writing a post...again.

But I came with a reason (zero wifi at home) and plenty of gusto today I was going to fill out my FAFSA and apply to the school that I want to go to, and I was doing just fine on my progress of the form until it came to 'Parent Finances' and since my mom is at home slothing around on the couch and wouldn't let me use her desktop to fill it out to avoid further procrastination I came to write where I usually always do. Anywoo, I got to the main tab of PF where they ask about taxes and how much you're worth and all that shiz and since my mom is  there and I'm here I was calling and asking her questions. Some she answered pleasantly and then I called one last time asking her about tax info and the shit hit the fan. She told me, "I don't feel comfortable with you sitting in a Starbucks giving out my personal and financial information to these people, it's none of their business, let alone yours!" Suffice to say I saved my progress, which was nearly at 100 percent by that time and am here now, venting.

I know why she is pissed off too, besides the fact that I'm asking for personal information and numbers it's also because if I go to school and am 45 minutes away she will have no one but my brother's to keep the house up to her perfectionist standards. It will also mean that she will lose the $100 a month that I pay her for rent and I won't be around to pay her bills when I go pay mine. The downside of having the same phone and car insurance companies, it has it's pros and cons. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and brother's but it's time for this little birdy to fly the coop and that involves a little bit of cooperation and understanding from momma bird. I swear once I get accepted and all that fun collegiate stuff she won't have to push anymore, I'll be OUT like a light.
I'm so sick of sleeping on a couch and feeling tied to the house all the time. If anything in my  mom's eyes she should be happy as hell for me for wanting to go back to school and putting effort into making it happen for myself, even if it's not for something that she wants me to be. But that's something she's going to have to deal with on her own. I've dealt with enough nurses and doctor's and the like in my life that I'd rather just go to them for their services, not actually be one. I want to pick up where I left off years ago and barrel ahead like  I know I can. I'm having a hard time making her and myself proud by continuing the things that I'm doing now.

Okay, I'm done..thank you for letting me get that off my chest guys.

I'm having two guest post's this weekend and they should be up today or tomorrow, hopefully.

Have a good day all :)

xoxo

These are a few of my favorite things....

Patrick Fugit-yum.

Daydreaming..

I want to go on a crazy whirl wind adventure, I want to eat fresh fruit and freshly baked flaky pastries with my fingers. I want to take in the aroma of  freshly ground coffee beans and watch the flowers as they come to life, shedding the old and welcoming the new. Colors violet,reds and blues. Warming beams of sunlight kissing my nose and cheeks, leaving a dusting of freckles and a hint of pink to my ghostly skin.

Sitting next to you on this lovely cloudless day makes me wish that I could freeze it in time and never move from this place.

Embracing the different in life

The wild women of today's mainstream music are the bread to my butter, the jelly to my peanut butter, the star's in my sky some more so than others. Please don't think any less of me for this post.

I have a bit of an affinity with mainstream pop music, especially Ke$ha. I know I know "but she's dirty and all she does is sing in auto tune....blah,blah,blah"..see what I did there?? Yeah I did that. Today before work in an effort to get out of the house early I ran to Target just to look around and then I came across this little nugget. Suffice to say it made my day at work go a lot smoother, and that I will gladly take any day of the week. Even though the media and a lot of people tend to hate on her I have a lot of respect for her, especially when I found and read this interview she did with Seventeen magazine last year. The girl really isn't so bad. See?

Another wild woman of the mainstream that I can't help but like is of course Lady Gaga, catchy songs, crazy outfits, and fearlessly out there. Though wearing a meat dress is absolutely fucking bonkers and disgusting. But I think that if anything her star will burn the brightest. I mean with a name like Lady Gaga and naming your fans "Little Monsters", you probably aren't going any where for some time. 

Then there's Rihanna and Nicki Minaj, I've never had a problem with Rihanna and I probably never will but she's probably going places too. Nicki Minaj on the other hand, she scares the shit out of me! I've dubbed her the "Black Lady Gaga"., not because I think she's going too far in the world of music and such but because of the way she acts, which is sometimes worse than Gaga. I'm not racist I swear but it's kinda the truth. Don'tcha think?

The modern day Madonna's- 

  

Your guys' love is MY drug.

Which "crazy" artist's do you have a guilty pleasure for?

xoxo

I don't want to grow up, I always want to be a Toys R Us kid!

I just scheduled my first dentist appointment for the first time in, sadly, a long time. This is not a good thing, especially for someone with a congenital heart condition. I've really been failing at this whole "grown up" thing lately I think. It's not like I mean to but it has been kind of hard to maintain much stability in my life. Try as I might nothing ever really seems to stick and it sucks because stability is something that I crave more than chocolate these days.

I had a first date last night with someone that had started calling me "his girlfriend" before we even went on the first date. Sorry but 6 to 8 months of talking does NOT make me your girlfriend dude. Why must my dating history repeat itself? Can a girl get a reset button or somethinggggggggggggggg? I may restart my dating sabbatical back up again because this shit is bananas.

I really hope that when I go back to school next fall that things come a little easier for me, I still like a challenge but I need more than tide pools of happiness, I want tsunami sized waves of happiness and joy from here on out!  Even if I have to make them myself.

How are you doing at growing up?

xoxo

Things that I am grateful for..part 1

I'm kind of lacking on inspiration today, nay this whole week. But I will have something tomorrow night, hopefully, but until then I  think I"m going to take a note from  my friend punkrawkpurl and make a list of things that I am grateful for, because I'm thankful for a lot I just kind of fail at showing it sometimes. There for a blog is a great medium.

1. My mom's cheesy,parsley mashed potatoes
2.My health, and being a year and 3 months cancer free.
3. My blackberry.
4. The smell of fresh cut grass.
5. The warmth and feel of the sun on my face.

6.My best friend
7. Cadbury Eggs-especially the caramel kind.
8. Harry Potter
9. Chelsea Lately, Tina Fey and other lady's of comedy.
10. Vodka
11. Books! Oh how I love books.
12. Ritz Crackers and cream cheese- if you have never had this combo you should get on it.
13. Days off

 

14. Having 3 of the cutest little brothers that a girl could ask for ^^^
15. Post Secret
16. Adele

17.  Jones Soda
18. An amazing mother
19. water balloon fights
20.  Carnations. Screw roses the under rated road is the way to go.
21. That 70's Show
22. Foo Fighters
23. A ridiculously high tolerance for pain, which is actually not always a good thing.

Just another manic Mondayyyyyy

Today has been a whirl wind of perpetual motion, bills have been paid, latte's have been enjoyed and sleep has been more or less caught up on. So what if I went to bed at almost 4 am last night? I had a good reason to stay up so late Skyping and not sleeping.

My Monday went a little like this;

7:00am- my internal alarm clock woke me up to remind my mom to wake up my little brother since Monday's her day to do it.

7:05- get up and go lay down in one of my other brothers bed's.

9:45am- hit snooze on my actual alarm and sleep until 11.

11:00-11:15- lay in bed reading Twitter updates until I'm actually awake, get up and go take a quick shower.

11:45-1:30- browse the interwebs and wait for my hair to dry. Because I'm against using hair dryers and looking like Toad from Mario Brothers..that's another story for another time.

2:00pm- drive across town to pay my phone bill and my mom's and end up only paying my own because unbeknownst to my mom if it's your bill and you're not paying with cash you gotta pay it yourself! I also encountered a very confused lady that needed to pay her phone bill but was confused as to how the kiosk worked so I helped her figure it out, get it paid and even got two dollars of her change just for the hell of it.

3:00- slowly make my way to Target and do my routine walk through of the store after getting a chai tea, get the two essential things that I actually needed along with an impulse buy...or two.

3:45- Head back to my car and throw in one of my favorite movie soundtracks and proceed to fall into nostalgic bliss as I drove to Wally World. A place that I loathe with a deep fiery passion.

4:15- Start to shop for groceries for tonight's dinner, run into an old neighbor and get to talking about life and the future. I forgot the hot dogs! Guess my 6 year old  brother will be enjoying beer brats with the rest of us.

5:00- made a mental  note to NEVER live on the third floor of an apartment building, EVER!!

and now I'm here hashing out my day off for all of you lovely people.

            What do you like to do on your day/s off?

xoxo