I'm a master procrastinator and socially inept..

I have been blessed with a mere hour and a half before work to get everything requiring my laptop (with wifi) done and so far I'm making good time. I've pre-registered for class registration at school (way to be redundant school) and am now procrastinating on pulling up a new window to start browsing and possibly ordering a new laptop for my birthday/school.

I would have written more earlier but the pictures I want to put on a post are on my computer not my mom's and   being forced to use a desktop as opposed to a laptop that practically has my LIFE on it is weird. Suffice to say it has been a long week, school prep, my birthday, work, trying to have a social life and being in a relationship that I wasn't aware of being in. Here's a good story for ya, everyone ready for this??

A few weeks ago an old friend of mine from high school sent me a message on Facebook more or less out of the blue blatantly asking me if I was seeing anyone, and since I'm not and wasn't planning to  for a while I decided to hang out with the kid. I mean what's the worst that could happen? We're just two friends from high school catching up and hanging out...right...I was wrong apparently because two people of the opposite sex can NOT be friends!! Oh no, once you throw in emotions and sometimes hormones shit gets all sorts of out of hand. I thought that he and I were just friends just hanging out and catching up-the equivalant of a mini high school reunion. Extreme awkwardness in some situations included. Sure when he told me he liked me I returned the mutual feelings and told him I liked him too, but apparently my interpretation of his like for me was WAYYY off! We went out to Dave and Buster's for my birthday and scored a ridiculous amounts of tickets/random pieces of paper (his idea, not mine) and managed to split the winnings between ourselves equally which was cool. Then I made a mistake of inviting him over to watch a movie, I picked 500 Days of Summer because I thought it was a seemingly safe movie. not quite a chick flick and not boring.. boy was I wrong! Right before he left he asked me if we were a couple or not...and as life always tends to it imitated art.  I just replied as nonchalantly as I could and told him that I didn't want a relationship, at least not now and called it a night.

Apparently those words are like kryptonite to guys, especially those in the "friends zone" because a good 75% of the texts that he sent to me and to my best friend about me the day after my birthday were brimming with douchiness and made this once nice guy turn into an "arrogant prick". His words not mine, though they do ring true,  but ya know I had to do what I had to do. Forced attraction is not something I'm into especially when I thought that an unspoken understanding was in place. The next day I woke up feeling as though I had a hole in my chest the size of my lung...turns out it was just because I had accidentally hurt the poor guy the night before without really realizing it. I know I'm a stupid heartless bitch for it or whatever but in my defense I'm kind of romantically inept I only interact with guys that I work with/ are customers and the friends of mine at work that are guys understand how utterly complicated and fucked up I really am even if I don't show it too much. Because that's just how misfits are.

So maybe one day when I can figure out what I want and have my shit in order will I will a guy past the iron walls that I have built around my heart, til then I think it's just time to focus on the future and school and whatever else may come up during that time. I just need a little push off the edge for me to jump into anything with a guy, my fear is paralyzing...

P.S I got a shot glass and a stuffed Smurfette (hehe) for my birthday and a new laptop that I just ordered.

Have a good day all!

xoxo