Saturday, June 18, 2011

I miss you, especially when it rains.

Last night it rained, actually no it stormed. I couldn't sleep when I got home so I grabbed my brother's Transformers blanket and made my way to the porch and watched as the storm did it's thang. About five years ago when I used to live with my dad and little brother in Kansas we used to sit on the porch or in the mudroom and watch the storms. Living in tornado alley provides for some pretty amazing storm watching, provided as long as there are no tornadoes heading your way.

It's been a little over a year since my Dad has passed and it still feels as raw and fresh as the day it happened. I knew that it was going to happen but I am comforted by the fact that he is no longer suffering and is watching over my brother and I. Whenever it rains I'm reminded of my dad and of the great memories that I have left of him, he used to watch History, Discovery, and the Travel channel like my youngest brother watches Disney channel or Cartoon Network. Whenever I was in the hospital when I was younger I would usually wake up to one of the channels listed above.

Some of the many great traits that my dad and I share are the insatiable need to always be intellectually stimulated and not held back from the many great things in our life that are there for the taking. He always used to tell me to "broaden your horizons" and I think that in this past year despite my downfalls here and there that he would be extremely proud of me for getting into a great school and going forth in the world to broaden my horizons.
He and I also shared a passion for making people happy whenever and however we can, even when my dad was struggling to pay a bill or two of his own and I was sick he helped me pay for a month of my own bills because I was too sick to work. I know that parents are kind of obligated to help their kids out if they are in a ditch but my dad was always very tight with his money and stuck to a budget like a fly on flypaper.
I remember nights in his old house curling up with my dad in his recliner and reading Dr.Suess and other classics after watching the nightly news and PBS. Those were the days when I was an only child and probably  some of the best times spent with just my dad and I.
My brother, my dad and I also have a love of watching the formation and progression of storms, Kansas and Missouri have some pretty great storms, except the one's that ruin people's lives but that's not the point! Last night and every night that it storms or rains anything heavier than drizzle I remember the night's spent with my brother and Dad watching the storms pass on our house on the hill surrounded by rolling green hills, wildlife, and the crab apple tree right across from the porch that was perpetually surrounded by the warty lime green psuedo fruit.

Oh the memories, so bittersweet obviously more sweet than bitter. My dad lived a great life, he realized his dreams, made two amazing kids that are growing into great adults every day and is always watching over us until we can join him again.


Give your Dad or Father figure a huge hug and a kiss this year, and give him an extra hug for those that have lost the best man in their lives.

Happy Father's Day!!


  1. This seriously made me tear up a smidge. Very nice post.

  2. Very moving. I am going to have to quit reading your stuff if you don't quit making me cry. :-) Love you.

  3. That was a very sweet post. Thanks for sharing, i'm sure it was hard to do.

  4. I never knew your Dad, but I am positive he would be very proud of his Daughter. :)

    Beautiful Post, Thank you for sharing it with us. You are so brave, I don't know if I could ever blog about such personal subjects. I admire the fact that you can get it out and post it like you do! :) It's good therapy ;) hehe

    *big hugs*


Thank you for leaving me an assorted thought of your own. :)