Sunday, May 27, 2012

Whatever happened to Miss Independent?

First off let me preface this by saying that this post is not in any way shape or form an ode or homage to the ridiculously catchy song by Kelly Clarkson, it's more of my personal pep talk to myself and possibly other young women that let themselves relinquish their God given rights as women to be blinded by the opposite sex.

Note: Any "man bashing" in this is 100% unintentional, and I'm sorry in advance if I offend anyone.

When I came back to college I came to focus solely on my education and my future, in a past post I even referred to my education as "my boyfriend". But since life never works the way we want it to for a good portion of the time, I came to school and got adjusted and before I knew it I was miraculously turned into a giddy, naive 18 year old fresh from high school again and I fell into a relationship head first before school even started. We lasted seven blissful months, and I don't regret any of them either. The only thing about the whole relationship that I do wish that I could have done over would have been to not dote so much, I ended up losing myself in his life instead of focusing on me and getting my shit in order.

My Mom is and will always be one of my heroes, and the simple reason for that is because ever since she and my step-dad divorced nearly 4 years ago she has always done things for my brothers and I without the help of any men and it has shown me that I too shouldn't rely on a man for anything that I can't do myself.

So on that note I vow here and now to let this coming year not be a repeat of last fall. While it was nice and fun and all of that, it was not what I should have been focusing my energy on it. While this manifesto of sorts seems like quite a feat because it almost sounds like I've given up men completely and possibly even switched teams, but it's nothing like that. A girl just needs a break every now and then. Though I did do something the other day that was completely out of my character; I gave my number to a random cute guy at the grocery store the other night while shopping with a friend. It was fun and I felt like I crossed something off of my Bucket List as well as challenged myself and even though he hasn't called because he probably thinks that I'm 18, that's okay. It still felt pretty damn awesome at the time and I'm happy with that.

Right now I think I'm okay with just random dating, but I'm going to be a Summer Finn and go with the flow of life and figure out my own life first.

What's your favorite thing about being single? in a relationship?



  1. There are pros and cons to being both. I love the freedom of being can go where you want, do what you want, and you have nobody to answer to. All life is an adventure. Things change once you settle into a relationship. Your freedoms, and your spare time, are more restricted...but if you've found the right person, it's worth it.

    I think you have the right idea. You said that you doted over him, which I'm taking to mean that you somewhat needed him around. The best relationships come once you've established a strong sense of identity, when you're independent. Once you stand on your own, you can more easily welcome another into your life.

  2. I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 yrs, and we recently moved in together. I have to say, I've never once felt like I've given anything up for him. But I think it's in part because I did that in my last relationship, and vowed to never do it again! I took sOme time for myself, and when I started dating Nick, I set boundaries quickly. We are both really independent people, so I think he respected my needs, and I understood his. It makes all the difference in the world!

    I think Shaneiferd is right, the best relationships come when you each have a strong sense of who you are, and what you want from your partner. And from life! Good luck with your next school year, I wish you all the best!


Thank you for leaving me an assorted thought of your own. :)