Whatever happened to Miss Independent?

First off let me preface this by saying that this post is not in any way shape or form an ode or homage to the ridiculously catchy song by Kelly Clarkson, it's more of my personal pep talk to myself and possibly other young women that let themselves relinquish their God given rights as women to be blinded by the opposite sex.

Note: Any "man bashing" in this is 100% unintentional, and I'm sorry in advance if I offend anyone.


When I came back to college I came to focus solely on my education and my future, in a past post I even referred to my education as "my boyfriend". But since life never works the way we want it to for a good portion of the time, I came to school and got adjusted and before I knew it I was miraculously turned into a giddy, naive 18 year old fresh from high school again and I fell into a relationship head first before school even started. We lasted seven blissful months, and I don't regret any of them either. The only thing about the whole relationship that I do wish that I could have done over would have been to not dote so much, I ended up losing myself in his life instead of focusing on me and getting my shit in order.

My Mom is and will always be one of my heroes, and the simple reason for that is because ever since she and my step-dad divorced nearly 4 years ago she has always done things for my brothers and I without the help of any men and it has shown me that I too shouldn't rely on a man for anything that I can't do myself.

So on that note I vow here and now to let this coming year not be a repeat of last fall. While it was nice and fun and all of that, it was not what I should have been focusing my energy on it. While this manifesto of sorts seems like quite a feat because it almost sounds like I've given up men completely and possibly even switched teams, but it's nothing like that. A girl just needs a break every now and then. Though I did do something the other day that was completely out of my character; I gave my number to a random cute guy at the grocery store the other night while shopping with a friend. It was fun and I felt like I crossed something off of my Bucket List as well as challenged myself and even though he hasn't called because he probably thinks that I'm 18, that's okay. It still felt pretty damn awesome at the time and I'm happy with that.

Right now I think I'm okay with just random dating, but I'm going to be a Summer Finn and go with the flow of life and figure out my own life first.

What's your favorite thing about being single? in a relationship?


xoxo

The Boyfriend: An Introduction

Dear fellow Scatterbrain admirers,

     This is the boyfriend.  She asked me to write something for her blog a while ago and I promised her I would.  If the metaphorical bubble hasn't already burst, I'm not the perfect boyfriend as I should have posted before now.  That is not to say I don't try because I certainly do.  In fact, I'm in love with her.  Every day, I learn that she is even more wonderful than I thought the day before.  Nicole is both smart and funny.  Cute and sweet.  Goofy and attractive.  Kind and selfless.  Loyal and honest.  She has a beautiful smile that graces my eyes often and she cooks so that my taste buds water and my stomach is contently full.  She is definitely the most complete girl that I have ever dated.  I mean it when I say that I am lucky.  She the kind of woman that entered my life and quickly made me so glad that others left it.  The last four months with her have been truly wonderful.  I would write more but we have to go to lunch and a couple basketball games.  I will write again, and probably soon.  Until then, continue enjoying Nicole's blog and keep her company.

With nothing but honesty,

The Boyfriend

Good Lord, really?

I checked my email the other day, not really expecting to find anything I was gifted with this nugget; 

Wow you are so pretty and you have a nice and good smile,bet you were created for a good purpose and for a wonderful man like me..I would love to know more about you as your profile and picture really caught my attention .. I am very self reliant and I am honest, loyal and I stand by the ones I love. I expect to be treated with the same respect. ? I dislike false people who cannot stand up for themselves or what they believe in. I don?t like dishonesty in any form, in my opinion,there is no such thing as a white lie. .Lets talk more better..Anyway nice smile..You are so sweet

I have no words to describe how I felt after I read this..other than stupid.

A hopeless romantics romantic-less challenge.

Well hello there dear readers and passerbys, I've got quite the story for you all tonight but first a short disclaimer.

*These views and opinions are purely mine and if you take any offense to what I may write, I'm sorry ahead of time and this is something that I am choosing to do for me and may not be for everybody.** Enjoy!

Last weekend I was hanging out with my best friend, we did our usual weekend ritual-see a movie, eat out or just go walk around somewhere aimlessly and see who if anyone of us spends the most money and who holds back. Except that later in that weekend we both had dates, she on Friday night and myself on Saturday night-granted hers was planned a week or so ahead of time, whereas mine was very spontaneous.

Anywho Sunday evening after we went to see Ramona and Beezus we came back to her house so that she could get ready for her churches concert with the kids she teaches, while waiting for her to get ready to go I browsed her moms bookshelf not really expecting to find anything but something jumped out at me called, I Kissed Dating Goodbye and while this is not usually a book that I would be drawn to so heavily something about it and the "date" I had the preceding night made me want to borrow it.

I started reading it that night and started to give my own love life a good long look. I have never really been one to go out and date guys "recklessly" I have only had a total of two serious boyfriends in my life and that's fine with me. I haven't ever really needed any man in my life to support me other then my dad and my godfather and other men like that. The date the night before was my first in 7 or so months and I am considering the date more of just a trial run to see if I was ready to get back into the dating world. It appears I wasn't and as I said before, that's fine with me. I couldn't put the book down this whole week and when I had to I was itching to read more of it because it kept giving me the support,advice and direction that i had been void of in the past few months. Granted, I was already on the right path that this book was opening for me more or less already but I gathered that it is okay to be single (even though I have been for 3 years now) and it is possible to have a relationship with a guy without it turning into a dramatic made for the movies kind of situation. I finished the book tonight and sent my best friend a text telling her my new plan and to give her mom a big hug from me. I also decided to go ahead and challenge myself with the not quite newly found lifestyle and see if I can find myself along the way too.

The rules of The Plan-(inspired by I Kissed Dating Goodbye)

• I will not go on any more dates, until I am emotionally, mentally, and financially ready for a serious relationship.
• When I do choose to start dating again, I don't know if it will be to lead to marriage or not, since I'm not sure if I want to get married yet.
• I will not let another guy distract me from the already full plate of things I have in front of me already to get over.
• I will strengthen myself as a person and my relationships with others around me.

I will be able to have relationships with guys but nothing further then friends.
Those are just the rules for so far, I plan to begin my dating sabotical on August 1st and as of now it is indefinite on when it will end but I do know that I will be given someone that is very special and is meant for me one day. Updates will be coming monthly on my progress on all things big and small, (finances, faith,relationships,and anything else that may come to mind.)

This is going to be a little like Eat,Pray, Love but without the travel and gurus, but I'm welcoming this challenge with an open heart and mind so that I can see what exactly is in my heart that I should be seeing and listening to.

XOXO