Well yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up, actually I think that it was already over before it was "official". But that is okay, I've learned a lot from that little for lack of a better word-spliel (sp?). I think that its now time for me to focus a whole lot more on myself,plus I have a whole life ahead of me to date and actually find someone worthy of holding my heart for safe keeping. Even if I did think that he deserved it when he hadn't even shown me his true colors.
Heartbroken is not the word, its more like disappointment. Though I should be used to broken promises from guys. "I'll be with you through it all,I promise." He was never there half the time when I needed him. I think this month I only saw him about a grand total of 6 hours or so. That's not how relationships work even if you are busy! A little contact would be awesome! More then a couple hours on IM's too,hearing each others voices does wonders for a relationship when you can't be together. If you "don't like to talk on the phone." then suck it up and call the one you supposedly love. If you don't want to be with the person your with don't be a dick and not contact or make any attempt to see your loved one. Grow some balls, be a man and tell her that you aren't into her anymore. Simple as that!!
When I was first diagnosed the guy that I was seeing then lived an hour away and he came to see me whenever possible and if he couldn't make it then he would at least call and talk to me for a little bit. Granted eventually we mutually broke it off because he got too busy and my life was more or less hanging in the balance so he bailed because he was scared but I digress. My point is that he actually put in effort to see me and we made each other happy.
Now I'm continuing the search for a job which I may have a lead on one and get back to school and get my independence back slowly but surely. I just have to keep my faith and take things one day at a time, and as the saying goes-There's plenty of fish in the sea.
Ok I think that I have said my peace for now and got everything that I have needed to off my chest. Time to power on and seek better things for myself in this life.
XOXO
so i totally feel you on all this... you know i "dated" more like wasted my time with jordan for 2 and 1/2 years... once i got my head on straight and decided to live for myself and quit worrying about love, i found trever. he an i have come so far and are exactly what each other need. the universe had things fall into place without my help. :) when we stop looking, we find love. i truly believe that. good luck to you, live and love living for you... and someone will find you who wants to do that too!
ReplyDelete