Sunday, July 25, 2010

Dirt on my almost cleaned heart and mind.

Right now seems as good a time as any to write. Especially since all that I have on my mind is doing more harm to my body then my cancer ever did. We are all faced with life changing decisions on a daily basis and right now dear friends are readers I need some advice on this current decision I have to make...if you want to comment it is appreciated, if not the fact that you even read this is appreciated as well.

Ok I think I have the words for this. I have just moved back into my old neighborhood and I am staying with a family friend and I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to stay here or go with my mom and my brothers into a small two bedroom apartment. Being the slightly organized person that I like to think I am I made a list of pros and cons for each place and my family's side had more cons then pros, sadly. Just when things were starting to maybe kind of look up for me my dear old friends Depression and Confusion had to track their muddy footed selfs into my slightly mess free mind and heart.
Right now I am trying desperately to figure out what I should do and how to tell my mom and brothers if I decide to stay with my neighbor. I don't think that it would break their hearts if I decided not to move in with them, because this weekend was my time to "sleep on it" and that is essentially what I did. But thankfully work is a great place for me to be stuck inside of my head EVEN more so than I am already on an everyday basis so I can figure out how the conversations with both my mom and my current "roommate" are going to go, and hopefully they go over smoothly. I'd like that be the glowing red EXIT sign for my two unwelcome friends to go to and leave my already damaged self alone.

Ok I think that this is all that I can write for now.

XOXO and thank you for any advice anyone may leave.

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