Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I've stressed myself sick.

Appeals, work, family, a woman with lots of free time on her hands and make her daughter make her own bed for them. It's a bunch of crap..I'm exhausted and my body is finally starting to scream while the words stay inside, festering and bubbling which is NOT good. I need to get away, I need to learn to stand up to my mom who won't even let me explain how a perfume bottle accidentally broke, that I never touched. I'm done being shit on and being under appreciated. It's days like these that hope is hardest to hold onto, all I want is a little stability and love. Two very simple things that always seem to be out of my reach. The only stability I do seem to find is in my books (which I can't seem to stop buying) and I just use them for escape.
Also, in my efforts to start getting ready for school and get things that I need to get done, apparently I've been "slacking" in my chores, which is a joke if I've ever heard one. I work nights and have a weird sleep schedule and I feel obligated to watch my littlest brother because my other brother tends to be a bully towards him for no reason at all so I try not to leave the house before work so there's that. Sure I should hang out with friends but due to recent losses I don't have many that live in the area, and I don't date because my mom somehow always tends to run them off before I get the chance to, if I'm even with them that long...

I'm so ready to get away, sorry for the word vomit but it had to get out. No more festering.


  1. It's so much better to get it out girl! I'm glad you get it out some way.

    Just a few more weeks now..... and escape.... :)

  2. I hope you feel better after getting it out. Good luck with getting things together for school and stay strong.

  3. let it out! & chores = barf.

    and now with less than a month before school starts again i'm starting to get ready for it too, and i hate it :( i looked at my books i need online and i need 23!!! it's ridiculous (most are novels cause i'm an english major). i have no idea how i'm gonna do it all :/

  4. I hope things get better soon, it sounds like have a lot on your plate :( xoxoxo

  5. Let.It.Out.

    Jesus, that sounds overwhelming. But guess what: you're almost out. Pretty soon you'll be out at college making your own way. You will only have to deal with those people when it's on your terms. That, I have found, is one of the most awesome things about being on your own.

  6. Right before I headed out to college some... uh.... five years ago!?!?! (age shock GASP) I had these same issues with my parents. I don't know if was just the imminent me-leaving thing or what, but it seemed like everything I did got on my parents' nerves and vice versa. And always give yourself some time to vent and let off steam so that when you need to get your head back on straight, it'll sit a little easier once all that boiling under the surface has quieted down. And huzzah for college! It's so exciting, and I'm really feeling the awkward post-grad pull right now as my younger friends still in undergrad are preparing to return and I'm... well... working and saving and running away from the scary loan monster. :-) Chin up, love, and don't forget to breathe!

  7. Thank you all so much, I've been trying to hang in there and at least get more frustration out but turns out, I can't really do that either. It's terrible but you guys have been a great support to me and I adore you all for it! <3


Thank you for leaving me an assorted thought of your own. :)