Saturday, July 9, 2011

When Vada lost Thomas J

Prom 2007

All that stress that I droned on about in the last post now seems very irrelevant and pithy compared to the bomb that was dropped on my this afternoon thirty minutes before I had to go to work today. A really close friend of mine that lives about an hour and a half  away from me was killed yesterday morning at 2 am. I recieved the message from my mom who was taking my brother to the grocery store after his football game. When she told me the news I sat in shock and awe for a good 15 minutes, I'm still mortified that something like this happened to one of my closest friends.

I drove to work like a statue almost and was more or less the same at work too, except for the required small talk and smile that is required in my line of work my emotions were on lock down. I think I've lost the ability to cry actually, I always seem to be in a constant state of shock that sadly even death of a dear friend who's parents and and mine thought that one day he and I would have a future together as more can't melt the cold heart I think I have.

I don't know what to do, even as I type this and tell other close friends of he and I's I still don't know what to do. I guess the only good thing that I can gather from the very little details I've heard all night was that he probably didn't suffer.

5 comments:

  1. I know it's inadequate but I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing someone so close is just so heartbreaking :(

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  2. Not crying is ok. It may come later. It may not. Everyone handles this stuff differently. Don't put pressure on yourself to feel or react a certain way.

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  3. When I first saw this in my feed, I thought "Oh I love the My Girl reference" and immediately bit my tongue when I saw why you made it.

    I'm so very sorry you're going through this, lady. I lost a friend of mine several years ago through a freak accident and it was such a roller coaster of crying vs not crying for a while. Sometimes grief goes a little too deep for the tear ducts; all I can say is just keep breathing. I'm sorry I can't do anything tangible to assuage your grief other than empathize--but just know that you are not alone. Take care of yourself.

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  4. I know this isnt enough, but, i am truly sorry for your loss.

    http://oliviadollydaydream.blogspot.com/

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Thank you for leaving me an assorted thought of your own. :)