Random ramblings

Well I'd have to say that this years Halloween was so much better than last years was. I wore myself out and slept all of Sunday but it was worth it! All I have to say is thank you Britney Spears for having a breakdown this year, otherwise I wouldn't have had a good halloween costume this year. :)

I have two more weeks well two more months actually more like of chemo, then lots of checkups and tests to make sure I'm clean. I'm hoping to be in remission by the new year and growing my hair by then too. I'm a little tired so if this isn't making sense sorry ahead of time.

Loneliness is getting the best out of me again..I miss being held and it probably doesn't help that I watch Grey's Anatomy reruns all the time lately but hey I have lots of time on my hands why the heck not?! I have forgot so much about what it's liked to be held and loved and touched by someone but my current condition is going to be keeping those feelings at bay for yet some more months. I'm not in a hurry to get into a relationship or anything and I am not the type of girl to be a friends with benefits. I just want what I used to have with the good guys that I managed to find in my life. I just hope that I can find that again once I get better. I know I shouldn't really be focusing on this stuff and should be focusing wholly on getting better but that's what the weeks I'm in chemo are for.

I have a doctors appointment soon for a whole body scan or something and hopefully it comes back clear. I'm going to tell all my friends to put their prayers in double time. I want to go into remission before the new year. The next 20 years of my life cannot be as bad as the first 20 have been. Sigh.