Monday, September 28, 2009

Ghosts of Boyfriends Past and Doctors. Not in that order.

Well I went to the oncologist today (cancer doctor) and gave me some answers to some questions that my mom and I have.

-Can I get a flu shot? Yes but the chemo might make it not work so well since it's chemo it messes with the immune system.

-What stage is it? Stage 3, and there's 4 of them to my type of cancer. :( .

-When does chemo start? My chemo is scheduled to start Oct. 5,2009 at 8:00 am.
Oh yeah, apparently I am not 5'8' like I thought I was I'm 5'7' and have gained all the weight back that I was with the tumor still inside of me. Sigh.

At first when I was filling out my paperwork and everything they needed from me I was doing fine as far as nerves go but as soon as the doctor stepped into the room and started telling me everything that's when the confidence and positive attitude started to slide a little bit. But thankfully one of my best friends was there for moral support which I was really in need of at that point. But one funny thing did happen in the doctors office to try and take some of the fright off. My cancer is pretty much the female equivalant of testicular cancer. We all kind of found that kind of funny hehe. But from what I have heard and believe I can beat it. :D

After the visit to the doctors my friend and her boyfriend and I went to Taco Bell and got some eats,then ran some errands and before I had to go home we stopped by Party America to get ideas for her sisters Halloween party! While we were there and had been looking around for awhile and out of nowhere one of my ex's came up behind me and scared the crap out of me! Low and behold it was my high school sweetheart! In all honesty as soon as I saw him minus the awkward "oh yea so how are you and your girlfriend doing?" moments a lot of memories came rushing into my head. Not to be all mushy and girly or anything but when we hugged and it was awkward a little too but it felt really nice and I didn't really want to let go. It's so bad that I'm missing my ex and really bad that he has a girlfriend to boot. One he has been with for almost two years or so now...sooooooo bad. He was probably one of my only ex-boyfriends that I actually still have actual feelings for still and it has been 2 years since we broke up. I realize now that my reasons for breaking up with him were actual things that could have very easily been talked through and figured out and who knows we still might have been together now. But that's in the past and I can't dwell on it, just remember the memories of the day.

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