50 SECRETS ;
be honest no matter what!
1. your ex texted you and wanted you back, would you take them back?
I don't think so.
2. your relationship status?
Single and loving it.
3. where did you meet your crush?
I don't have one of those at the moment.
4. have you ever lost a close friend?
Yep.
5. do you smoke weed regularly?
Nope. Not at all.
6. think back to the beginning of 2010, were you dating the person your dating now?
No.
7. would your parents be mad if you were in a relationship?
No, as long as I'm happy their happy.
8. when was the last time you really laughed?
Earlier tonight.
9. something's wrong: FIRST guy you turn to?
Depends on the situation at hand.
10. FIRST girl you'd go to?
Cate or Tara.
11. is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?
Not that I'm aware of.
12. angry at anyone?
Not really.
13. what's stopping you from going for the person you like?
I don't like anyone at the moment, so I guess the person?
14. when was the last time you cried really hard?
I don't remember, it's been a while.
15. is there anyone you would do anything for?
mmmhhmmmmm
16. say you were given a pregnancy test right now. would you pass?
Yep. :)
17. who was the last person you talked to for more than 1O mins on the phone?
My best friend Cate :)
18. what is your favorite song?
Tidal Wave-Owl City
19. do you like redbull?
Ew. No.
20. how many people can you tell just about everything to?
Several, but each one has a different "category" for lack of better words.
21. have you ever wished on a shooting star?
Yes. It is fun.
22. does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?
Now in a just friends kind of way.
23. describe your life in one word?
Chaos.
24. what emoticon would you use to describe your life?
:D
25. have anything that belongs to your former bf/gf?
I don't think so.
26. can you honestly say you've had a sleepover with the opposite sex?
Yes.
27. do you miss someone at the moment?
My dad and my little brother, and some cousin's and aunts.
28. ever wanted to have sex with someone you can't?
uh...no not really.
29. what would you do if you found out the person you like was in a relationship?
Move on.
30. do you act differently around the person you like?
Sometimes, depends on the person.
31. honestly, who is the last person you msn'd and do you have their number?
N/A
32. is it hard to make you laugh?
Nope.
33. who was the last person to make you mad?
A customer at work.
34. do you think your last ex will eventually want to be with you again?
I don't know.
35. have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms?
Yes, it was nice :)
36. What are you excited for?
The future and what it may hold.
37. would you like to put a night on repeat, and live it forever?
Maybe one or two but for the most part no.
38. do you have a best friend that knows you inside and out?
I think so.
39. is your best friend a slut?
Not that I'm aware of.
4O. is smoking pot a turn off?
Touchy subject.
41. are you happy with life right now?
Some parts could be better but for the most part yes.
44. have you ever been the "other person" in a relationship?
Nope, and I never will be.
45. have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes.
46. have you ever broken someone's heart?
Yes...
47. is there anybody you're really disappointed in?
Yes kind of, but I hope it will pass.
48. where is your best friend?
At home I hope.
49. someone who can make you smile even when your sad?
About anyone from work.
50. how is your heart lately?
It's good but mainly touch and go these days.
I hope to have something better to read soon. I just found this on a friend's Facebook and wanted to at least write something else before this month is out.
xoxo
Friday, February 25, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well.
As promised I have made my return. Sorry for my extended absence, it has been TOO long!
Attempt number 2.
It seems spring has sprung and a LOT of things in my life have changed since the last time I wrote, the usual mix of bad and good, "but you can't have the sweet with out the sour." as a friend of mine told me the other day. Thanks :).
After a rollercoaster of emotions and a relationship I've come to my senses(or something) about my relations with the opposite sex: their better as friends or at a distance. I'm NOT ready to let someone get too close or really even into my world right now, because it's more than a mess. It's more like a minefield (watch your step), but it's one that I know how to navigate because after all I've been through the eggshells have started to feel more like cake.
So once again, I'm reinventing myself and ever changing, like humans do.
My life will be lived for me and no one else right now because dammit aren't women that are independent hot or something? Right now my family and friends and myself are the the MOST important people in my life, and I'm happy with that at this point in my life. I have had a lot of inspiration and reassurance in the past couple of months that fabulousity and joy can come from the most random of things in this world. I guess a hearty appreciation for the simple things in life really may have something to do with that sentiment.
So here's to you and yours! Have a great night/day.
XOXO
If my words still aren't helping or inspiring enough or something like that then there is always this nugget, because who doesn't love a guy that can tickle the ivory's and sing a great love song?
Attempt number 2.
It seems spring has sprung and a LOT of things in my life have changed since the last time I wrote, the usual mix of bad and good, "but you can't have the sweet with out the sour." as a friend of mine told me the other day. Thanks :).
After a rollercoaster of emotions and a relationship I've come to my senses(or something) about my relations with the opposite sex: their better as friends or at a distance. I'm NOT ready to let someone get too close or really even into my world right now, because it's more than a mess. It's more like a minefield (watch your step), but it's one that I know how to navigate because after all I've been through the eggshells have started to feel more like cake.
So once again, I'm reinventing myself and ever changing, like humans do.
My life will be lived for me and no one else right now because dammit aren't women that are independent hot or something? Right now my family and friends and myself are the the MOST important people in my life, and I'm happy with that at this point in my life. I have had a lot of inspiration and reassurance in the past couple of months that fabulousity and joy can come from the most random of things in this world. I guess a hearty appreciation for the simple things in life really may have something to do with that sentiment.
So here's to you and yours! Have a great night/day.
XOXO
If my words still aren't helping or inspiring enough or something like that then there is always this nugget, because who doesn't love a guy that can tickle the ivory's and sing a great love song?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Yes, I'm THAT girl.
The other day I was browsing Yahoo's Shine articles out of boredom and I came across a fellow bloggers article. Granted she is a little more professional than me but then again she also works for Cosmopolitan magazine so that's pretty awesome.
Today's blog is going to be my version of her article.
In my life I have only been in two serious relationships and they only managed to make it about 10-11 months and the next girls that they dated after being with me they have lasted longer than said guy and I did. But it's always the same situation just different details, so here goes a lovely walk down memory lane, also names have been changed.
First there was Adam in my junior year of high school he was not only my first kiss he was also my first actual boyfriend and we had a lot of fun together while we were together. He and made it almost 11 months so yes he holds a special place in my heart but he has been with his new girlfriend for two years and he calls her "wifey" but as long as he's happy then I am happy for him and he and I are still friends which I am thankful for because if nothing more friends are always a great thing!
Then there was John who I met through a mutual friend of his brother's at the race track that I used to race at. I think that I was in love with him because from the beginning he was there for me through everything, from breaking my back to family issues. I learned a lot from that relationship too about myself and guys and the way they work. Roughly two years or so after he and I parted way I found out that he was engaged and getting married to the girl he met after he and I broke up. I haven't talked to him since the day he told me the news but I'm still happy for him and his new wife and I wish them the best.
Which leads me to believe that there is either something wrong me that makes it so that I can't make it past 11 months with a guy or I'm just not long lasting relationship material. I'm the female version of Good Luck Chuck and I don't even have to do the dirty with them. What the hell is wrong with me??
So the search for lasting happiness continues.
Today's blog is going to be my version of her article.
In my life I have only been in two serious relationships and they only managed to make it about 10-11 months and the next girls that they dated after being with me they have lasted longer than said guy and I did. But it's always the same situation just different details, so here goes a lovely walk down memory lane, also names have been changed.
First there was Adam in my junior year of high school he was not only my first kiss he was also my first actual boyfriend and we had a lot of fun together while we were together. He and made it almost 11 months so yes he holds a special place in my heart but he has been with his new girlfriend for two years and he calls her "wifey" but as long as he's happy then I am happy for him and he and I are still friends which I am thankful for because if nothing more friends are always a great thing!
Then there was John who I met through a mutual friend of his brother's at the race track that I used to race at. I think that I was in love with him because from the beginning he was there for me through everything, from breaking my back to family issues. I learned a lot from that relationship too about myself and guys and the way they work. Roughly two years or so after he and I parted way I found out that he was engaged and getting married to the girl he met after he and I broke up. I haven't talked to him since the day he told me the news but I'm still happy for him and his new wife and I wish them the best.
Which leads me to believe that there is either something wrong me that makes it so that I can't make it past 11 months with a guy or I'm just not long lasting relationship material. I'm the female version of Good Luck Chuck and I don't even have to do the dirty with them. What the hell is wrong with me??
So the search for lasting happiness continues.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Single Awareness Day is upon us..let the countdown begin!
Wow, it has been forever since I have wrote anything. I'm sorry :( I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about you dear blog readers but I just haven't had anything to really write about. Well I have but I have but it's personal stuff. Even though I clearly have no filter for myself on my blog or in real life.
Okay first off, Happy New Year! How was everyone's did you do anything cooler than I did? I wrapped myself in a sweater and watched Snooki get lowered to the ground at the speed of a snail with my mom,instead of going out to a party or wearing the cute dress I bought and intended to wear that night. Suffice to say the Missouri weather kicked that plan right out the window.
I was reading a tweet earlier from a fellow blogger ChelsTalksSmack: she said exactly what I have thinking for about this past week or longer,"Being single is overrated" and to add to that nugget of common sense dating these days sucks too. I think the only "cool" time to be single is when you have a wicked awesome job and live in a cool city. Or if your in college apparently . I wouldn't know this though because I am not in school at the moment but when I did go it may have been cool. I was trying to stay focused so the opposite sex was just fun to admire from and laugh at from afar. Oh to be younger again and actually do things right. But I know I know "Everything happens for a reason." Yada yada yada.
As far as the stores are concerned though Febuary 14th is already here, I was in Wal-Mart the other night after a family dinner doing some bored browsing and half the store was covered in red and pinks and other shades associated with Singles Awareness Day and I was reminded once again that I'm single and it still kind of sucks. You can only go to so many movies alone so many times before you become friends with the employees and the movies just start to get that much duller especially when you go alone. But I am enjoying being single while I have the chance..Girl Power!
So far the only thing that I can think of that I'm looking forward to on February 14th is an oncologist appointment to make sure that I'm still good and in remission. I haven't been feeling too bad except for a minor cold or two so I think I'm good. Fingers crossed.
I do realize that this post is WAY too early for a Valentine's Day blog but it had to be flushed from my brain sooner than later. So I wanna know if your single how do you celebrate or not on Single Awareness Day? If your taken, congrats your the cutest couple ever! What do you plan to do with your significant other this year?
I'll try to write more and on a more regular basis from now on. Wifi issues kind of messed up my preferred writing times.
xoxo
Okay first off, Happy New Year! How was everyone's did you do anything cooler than I did? I wrapped myself in a sweater and watched Snooki get lowered to the ground at the speed of a snail with my mom,instead of going out to a party or wearing the cute dress I bought and intended to wear that night. Suffice to say the Missouri weather kicked that plan right out the window.
I was reading a tweet earlier from a fellow blogger ChelsTalksSmack: she said exactly what I have thinking for about this past week or longer,"Being single is overrated" and to add to that nugget of common sense dating these days sucks too. I think the only "cool" time to be single is when you have a wicked awesome job and live in a cool city. Or if your in college apparently . I wouldn't know this though because I am not in school at the moment but when I did go it may have been cool. I was trying to stay focused so the opposite sex was just fun to admire from and laugh at from afar. Oh to be younger again and actually do things right. But I know I know "Everything happens for a reason." Yada yada yada.
As far as the stores are concerned though Febuary 14th is already here, I was in Wal-Mart the other night after a family dinner doing some bored browsing and half the store was covered in red and pinks and other shades associated with Singles Awareness Day and I was reminded once again that I'm single and it still kind of sucks. You can only go to so many movies alone so many times before you become friends with the employees and the movies just start to get that much duller especially when you go alone. But I am enjoying being single while I have the chance..Girl Power!
So far the only thing that I can think of that I'm looking forward to on February 14th is an oncologist appointment to make sure that I'm still good and in remission. I haven't been feeling too bad except for a minor cold or two so I think I'm good. Fingers crossed.
I do realize that this post is WAY too early for a Valentine's Day blog but it had to be flushed from my brain sooner than later. So I wanna know if your single how do you celebrate or not on Single Awareness Day? If your taken, congrats your the cutest couple ever! What do you plan to do with your significant other this year?
I'll try to write more and on a more regular basis from now on. Wifi issues kind of messed up my preferred writing times.
xoxo
Monday, December 6, 2010
If only my life were a John Hughes movie.
Okay no more distractions! Just the alotted music and Facebook because um I'm an addict like 95% of Americans. Plus I wrote a really good status that I want to keep tabs on. Oh narcissism.
In my last post I said something along the lines of "During my night out my room mate text me to ask if I was coming home tonight. I don't know if she was assuming something or what but as far as I can gather so far because of the fact that I am not in a relationship with anyone right now and that I go on an occasional date now and then and meet new people that I am the equivalant of a Satist in their (my friend's boyfriend's and hers) eye's. I don't know nor do I care at this point because even though my life is not all fancy and all that jazz like their's has been for the past 5/6 months I don't care because I'm happy that I get to keep my options open." . Which got me thinking about the movie Easy A. Which I can relate to really well except for the fact that I haven't had any imaginary flings (let alone any real ones) with any guys lately BUT I do have a Marianne in my life who tends to be a little judgmental at times as to the way I live my "oh so scandalous life"
Sure my life is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but is any one's really? I don't know how a series of roughly two dates or date equivalence in my head have managed to make my roommate and probably her family think that I'm some (any of the words above) that let's a guy take advantage of me and that I have some major issues since losing my dad this year but I don't. I really don't, if anything I am just lonely and want some sort of companionship every now and then and since my friend is hardly ever home to hang out or do anything with nowadays I have to go to other friend's houses and hang out with them or I opt to stay longer at work to absorb that little bit of human connection. When I'm not at home I get my human connection through Twitter and Youtube because a lot of my friends from any of my school years or any just recently found friends live too far away for me to meet them or even hang out with them.
Also, the other morning out of boredom and because there was nothing else on TV I watched PBS and they were showing a program called "The Science of Happiness" and apparently being lonely is as bad for your health as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day,who knew?
Question time! How do you deal with your loneliness or if your not lonely but dating how do you deal with it when your friend(s) think that your becoming "out of control" even though you haven't done anything with anyone, or you have but it's been PG unless ya know you have been together for a while.
Please help, any sort of advice will help me greatly right now!
XOXO
Friday, December 3, 2010
The mystery has been solved!
Tonight was my first actual (I guess I could say that, there hasn't been confirmation) date in about six months. We met at a pool hall/restaurant and bar and attempted to play a game of pool but due to my crappy skills at the game he ended up playing the game by himself and we just chatted as he ended the game. The night continued on and it appeared that a connection was developing quite well, and as I more or less gave him my whole life story I began to realize something; I do this to every guy I meet, I tell them my whole life story as a sort of test to see whether or not they will bolt after that day/night or if they want to stick around someone as insanely complex as myself.
As I thought more about my revelation on the drive home it also made me realize that back in my teenage days I actually stayed with boyfriends for at least roughly 10-11 months. I didn't have to tell them my whole life story because my whole life story wasn't as bizarre and twisted as it has been up to this point. Sure I enjoy my independence but I'm only human and well I think The Smith's said it best..
During my night out my room mate text me to ask if I was coming home tonight. I don't know if she was assuming something or what but as far as I can gather so far because of the fact that I am not in a relationship with anyone right now and that I go on an occasional date now and then and meet new people that I am the equivalant of a Satist in their (my friend's boyfriend's and hers) eye's. I don't know nor do I care at this point because even though my life is not all fancy and all that jazz like their's has been for the past 5/6 months I don't care because I'm happy that I get to keep my options open. Now this is not a feminist crusade or anything I am just happy where I am right now in my life, and that I don't need a man to make me whole. Sure they help but when a great one comes a long then I'll be ready for him to come into my chaotic life 'til then I'm going to live it up.
Now that that is out of my system and I have stood on my soap box I'm going to finish my movie and eat my cake.
What are your feelings on being an independent person and dating freely vs. being in a committed relationship?
As I thought more about my revelation on the drive home it also made me realize that back in my teenage days I actually stayed with boyfriends for at least roughly 10-11 months. I didn't have to tell them my whole life story because my whole life story wasn't as bizarre and twisted as it has been up to this point. Sure I enjoy my independence but I'm only human and well I think The Smith's said it best..
During my night out my room mate text me to ask if I was coming home tonight. I don't know if she was assuming something or what but as far as I can gather so far because of the fact that I am not in a relationship with anyone right now and that I go on an occasional date now and then and meet new people that I am the equivalant of a Satist in their (my friend's boyfriend's and hers) eye's. I don't know nor do I care at this point because even though my life is not all fancy and all that jazz like their's has been for the past 5/6 months I don't care because I'm happy that I get to keep my options open. Now this is not a feminist crusade or anything I am just happy where I am right now in my life, and that I don't need a man to make me whole. Sure they help but when a great one comes a long then I'll be ready for him to come into my chaotic life 'til then I'm going to live it up.
Now that that is out of my system and I have stood on my soap box I'm going to finish my movie and eat my cake.
What are your feelings on being an independent person and dating freely vs. being in a committed relationship?
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
An early Christmas gift and an idea!
The other day I got a call, it was one of my uplines for a company that I am kind of a representative for. Maybe you have heard of it? Avon anyone? Anyways the call was to inform me that the HD Flip camcorders that were supposed to be the "big item" for this past month's campaign was going down in price ANOTHER 20 dollars or so! So since I have been wanting a camera for who knows how long. I ordered one for myself as an EARLY Christmas present to myself. It should be arriving sometime this week and with that my creative juices will start to flow!
Now for my idea! I know it's not a very original one because it has been done by Fiveawesomegirls,Vlogbrothers, and a few other awesome Youtube favorites but if this all works out like I'm hoping it will and goes down the way I see it in my head than I will be a very happy girl! I should probably give some sort of explanation now if you didn't watch the links but my brother who is thirteen lives about 45 minutes away from my house and since my old car wasn't always reliable enough to get to where he was and construction is always being done on I-35 I thought, "hey what if I give him a look into my life and what I do and see everyday and film it!" Hints the camera and now I want his guardians/my aunt and uncle to get him one too (hopefully they have internet access) and he and I can make videos for each other now and again! I'm so excited for my first one already because I have had the idea since I went to The Cancer Survivors Park of Kansas City. Also, apparently I don't know my own home town too well because I never knew it was there!
Question: Is there any special Christmas gift your hoping to get under your tree this year, and what is your favorite part of the holiday season?
Mine is the hot cocoa, family gatherings and the food that others and I make!
Now for my idea! I know it's not a very original one because it has been done by Fiveawesomegirls,Vlogbrothers, and a few other awesome Youtube favorites but if this all works out like I'm hoping it will and goes down the way I see it in my head than I will be a very happy girl! I should probably give some sort of explanation now if you didn't watch the links but my brother who is thirteen lives about 45 minutes away from my house and since my old car wasn't always reliable enough to get to where he was and construction is always being done on I-35 I thought, "hey what if I give him a look into my life and what I do and see everyday and film it!" Hints the camera and now I want his guardians/my aunt and uncle to get him one too (hopefully they have internet access) and he and I can make videos for each other now and again! I'm so excited for my first one already because I have had the idea since I went to The Cancer Survivors Park of Kansas City. Also, apparently I don't know my own home town too well because I never knew it was there!
Question: Is there any special Christmas gift your hoping to get under your tree this year, and what is your favorite part of the holiday season?
Mine is the hot cocoa, family gatherings and the food that others and I make!
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