Sunday, May 1, 2011
Why can't you just let me have this!?
Know what sucks? When a person that is supposed to support you in everything that you do (whether it ends up not working out or not) doesn't support you and more or less just does everything that they can to hold you down, especially when you are doing everything in your power to get out and carve your own path.
That's kinda what I'm going through right now.
The other day my mom was talking to me about my recent decisions: to apply to Uni and start the next chapter in my life. She instead wants me to go to the old community college that I tried before and only made it a semester because living with my family, going through all the drama that was going on at that time was causing my grades and concentration to slip horribly. That along with other circumstances beyond my control. She also wants me to move into a house that she may be moving into soon and as nice as that would be I don't want to, I need my freedom and for her to let me go a little bit. She's also worried that I'll get there, graduate and find a job that only pays $8 an hour and will eventually default on my loans. I won't let that happen. I'm smarter than she thinks. I know she's scared, because I am too but it's a good kind of scared. She's also worried about me finding a job when I move. I get where she's coming from, if I move then I have to quit my job, I will be in slightly unfamiliar territory, I'll be experiencing a lot of new things that I have always wanted to but haven't yet had the chance to. But I'll be fine. Her and my dad raised me quite well.
I realize that my mom brings up valid points but I'm already more than halfway through the process and if they say yes then I'm going. I want to make her and my Dad proud but it's hard to make her proud when she won't even let me go due to her own fears.
Sorry, I had to get that out. I pray that tomorrow goes well for me! I need it to like a fish needs water.