Wednesday, March 2, 2011

All we can do is keep breathing.

As of late I have been a little callused and brash towards pretty much the world and just about everyone in it. I really hate that I have been acting this way because it really is NOT the way I normally am. I'm not a goody goody or anything but I'm also not a huge bitch, only when I need to be. I have always had it in the back of my head that I was not going to be like my mom because she can be a little negative (or realistic) about things while I'm more positive and open minded about everything. Hell in several on my last posts I vowed to be a happier, more likeable, better version of me. So why is that so hard!?
Some theories about where this hit of rage may have come from; work, I encounter a lot of customers that I swear are a few tacos short of a sampler plate or are just plain rude when I am doing everything I can to make sure they leave happy. Ugh, I loathe working in food some days. Second, stress overload; between  boys and trying to be "Wonder Woman" and a warrior the strength in me is breaking down like forgotten muscle. I'm regressing into a worrier and just about broke down a few times tonight at work. Pathetic I know. Or it could also be from me not properly mourning my dad's passing which was almost a year ago and just pushing on and not really acknowledging it like a normal person might. I haven't even been to his and my step mom's grave site since they were buried. I'm not saying that my life is unhappy or anything or that I want pity or anything like that, it's actually pretty good but right now the pain in my heart and chest is a crushing one that I felt like sharing for possible insight. Til' next time I will continue to just breathe.

I'm sorry for all the emo/bitchy posts lately guys but thanks for the comments, I appreciate them.


What do you do when your not feeling yourself?

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